I had survived the day. Period. Completely worthy of a celebration. However, the guilt, oh… the dreaded guilt, took over. My son’s voice filled my head, “But Moooooooooom, I don’t like Ranch Doritos. Why don’t you have the normal kind?” I didn’t have the ranch flavored for tomorrow either. I filled my glass of wine a little fuller to compensate.
How often do we try to ‘over compensate’ for a minor inconvenience? We readily turn ourselves in as “guilty as charged” and release our personal power and worthiness to the wind.
Awful moms because we weren’t able to pack the perfect lunch.
Awful moms because we took a phone call on the way to school drop off.
Awful moms because our kids had Krispy Creme for breakfast WITH chocolate milk. Nothing healthy. Nothing organic.
The horrible, awful, terrible, no-good very bad, VERY GUILTY MOM.
Women are notorious for making themselves a near criminal with the conviction being ‘imperfection’.
The real story is this –
Most days we are well prepared with our children’s lunch faves.
Most days we are laughing and singing on the way to school.
Most days they do have healthy breakfasts, but this ONE day was the ONE day that you had been up all night with a sinus cold.
Every day they have clean clothes.
Every day they have a snuggly bed.
Every day they have a hot shower.
Every day you tell them you love them.
So, why the guilt?
Have you really made an awful mistake, an awful mess of life? Or, have you been a kick-butt-working-professional-single MOM running a FULL life on near empty?
Let’s make a decision on this one. Vote for yourself –
_ I have been kicking butt as a full-time working single mom.
_ I made a mistake.
The truth is, CHECK BOTH!
We all make mistakes as a full-time working mom whether we are single or married.
Freedom. We’d like to welcome you to the club of wonderful moms doing their very best! (You can take a big breath right now. Let out all those life-stealing guilty emotions.)
Guilt defined means that you did something wrong. “Guilt” says “I did something wrong. I’m sorry. I made a mistake.”
And, guess what, there is nothing wrong with making a mistake. That’s called being a human.
Here’s your new mantra –
I am a happy mom. I am happy I make mistakes. I am grateful I am able to teach my children that the greatest growth happens when we make a mistake and learn from it. It’s called an opportunity.
Here are a few tips to help create the opportunity to empower a healthy perspective when you have frazzled days, hurried weeks, and difficult seasons.
Rather than internally beating yourself up, start a conversation –
- Hey, we ran out of your favorites for lunch today. Want to go with me to the grocery store after school? You can help me pack lunches for the rest of the week. (empowerment)
- Hey, I may need to take a call on the way to school. I’m expecting an important call before a meeting at work today. When we get to school, if I am on the phone, have a great day, I love you, and I’ll see you after school. What would you like to do after school today? (respectful initiative)
- Wasn’t is so fun to have Krispy Creme for breakfast today? I’m still not feeling all that great, so let’s prepare your breakfast tonight. We’ll both have a better day tomorrow. Want to watch a movie after we get your homework done? (self-care, bonding)
When you give yourself permission to view your imperfect moments as opportunities for growth as a family, you’ll give everyone else permission to step up during those frazzled days, hurried weeks, and difficult seasons. You can’t do it all. Your children truly don’t want you to do it all. They want responsibilities, expectations, and a role in the home. (They may not act like it at first, but we’ll discuss in a later blog.)
The ultimate benefit of properly defining guilt is attracting more positivity into your life. You’ll notice a happier home environment and your kids will want to be closer to the healthier you.
Here’s the bottom line heart-to-heart truth: Krispy Kreme every once-in-awhile will not harm your child; however, a guilt-ridden, unhappy, frazzled mom will unintentionally plant unhealthy messages in a child that will last a lifetime.
“In the end, I’m the only who can give my kids a happy mom who loves life.” said a very wise person.